A mess in the head...

Sometimes life juz seems to b out of ur grasp wen ur trying hard to grab it... Sometimes it juz comes too fast u dun even have d chance to get a hold of it... But... In truth, wat are d things dat u really wanna grab hold n wat are d things dat u wanna juz let it go???

There could be 1001 answers to this... Some might say I dun wanna let go of d little time I hv now n wanna let go of my over-loaded responsibilities n commitments... Some might say I wanna hold on tight to d one I love n juz let go of everything in my life... But wat exactly dat ppl wan in life??? Sometimes they juz contradict themselves so much dat they even got confused of wat they wan and blinded by emotion...

D same thing happend to me before... I was so blinded by emotion dat I went for d extreme for wat I crave for so much... To be wif d one I love... I guess everybody in dis world could understand d feeling of wanting to be wif d one u loved so much... Be it ur parents or ur lover... But sometimes u are juz so blinded by dat love of yours n juz forsake n forgot about other things around u n whoever it is...

Now I've realised one thing... Sometimes, we juz can't do things according to our emotion... We must always think n analyze d situation before making a decision... Wat's d pros n cons n wat is d result of watever decision made in d long run... Would it make u happy for d rest of ur life or it's oni a momentary one??? There are a whole lot of aspects to be taken into account for...

Ppl would always thought dat I am weak juz b'cuz of d way I show but they juz dun seem to fullly understand me n juz misjudged me... Some would think dat I would juz kill myself either by sliting my wrist or jumping off d roof... When I'm holdin a knife, it's not dat I wanna slit my wrist or somethin... It's juz a tool for cutting, fruits, papers etc... When I say dat I wanna go to d roof top it doesn't mean dat I wanna jump... I'm juz trying to see how wonderful d world is n I've learn a thing bout high places once accidently actually... All cuz of trying to save a life... Haha... It's dat whenever things gets all messed up n confusing, it seems to be clearer wen ur up in high places... Dat's y now, I'm starting to like high places although I may hv altophobia(afraid of heights)...

Sometimes it takes more than juz analyzing someone from how d way they act n talk... It's more to understanding... But, wat is it meant to understand a person??? I may not know d answer... As I am no philosopher or researcher nor even a psychologist... I am juz a plain old kid who's in college n trying to find things out about life n how it works...

I used to be blinded by all the emotions n questions in my head... It used to be clouded n hazy until I cannot think straight... But.. After sitting down n juz close my eyes n juz concentrate my mind... Everything juz cleared up n I could think straight again... But it's not all done alone... Friends too play a big role... Thanks to my friend dat gives me support n advice... Haha...

But wat I'm trying to say here is... Wat exactly we human or some scientific freaks will say homo sapiens actually wants??? Wat is it dat makes us human human??

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Juz finsihed all my finals paper... Woohooo~ But I'm not dat all happy... Although thinking back dat I'm going back melaka n goin for perhentian trip at the end of the month makes me somewhat excited but things hv been happening... Haha... Sigh...



All I wanna say here is dat:

Baby, I'm sry but... I juz wanna tell out d 2 u the things dat hv been bothering me n dat I dun understand...

I juz dun like to be treated like a nobody in ur life wen I care for u so very much... Although I understand ur situation.. But pls understand mine too... U hv someone who would always b there for u while I dun...

I dun wanna be taken for granted... I dun wanna taken like juz a pebble by d road side... I juz dun wan to...

I love u... Always have always will...

Boku no Yakusoku~

Mayb we're trying too hard...
Mayb we're torn apart...
We're empty....

Mayb it seems like we are empty... But in truth... I am empty... I am empty without u wif me... Althoug I noe dat u wouldn't ignore me... But things will nvr be d same again... Nothing would b d same again...

I dun wanna lose u... I dun wanna lose someone I luv so much... It's killing me to noe dat I'm losing u... Everything was ok before this... But after a day... Everything changed... We're no longer wat we are...

It's funny dat y humans are not always satisfied wif wat they already have... Dunno y... But it's like our nature... I dun dare to say I am always content wif wat I have... But I noe dat if I got u... I will never have another person in my life... Dat's my principle...

I may be stupid, idiotic or like wat u called me a moron... But dis is wat I am... Sigh... But... i would work hard... So dat u could see who I really am n wat I'm capable off from wat u see now... So dat I am worthy to b d one... I'd still wanna let u noe dat... I'll always luv u for who u are no matter watever things may happen... I'd hope u too will still... I luv u...

My birthday (day)

Hmm... 2day's my b'day!!! Haha... Happy... Cuz d nite b4, for the first time in my life I've got so many birthday wishes from my frens... All of them send in msg saying Happy b'day... Thx guys... Then in d morning... Ivy wanted me to go college early... So went there around 10.30am... Then me n Celine went to McDonald's first cuz Ivy said dat she got something to buy... Then sat down at McD n gotta wait an hour cuz they haven't prepared the burgers yet... (Damn...) Then Ivy n Carina came... Suddenly Ivy took out a brownie from secret recipe but d hell... Can't finish it... Haha... Then Michelle came by n things gets "worst" then... Hehe... We were laughing our crap off anyway... Haha... Then went to class carrying my "son"... A penguin soft toy... Gotta carry it... But most of the time Ivy was the one holding it... Hehe... Well... Most of my frens who saw me n remembered dat my b'day is 2day wished me.. Haha... Thx guys... Luv u all... MUUUUAKSSS.... Keke....

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It's been quite awhile dat I've been updating my blog.... Been quite busy.. Hehe... Well... Basically it's too much to talk about anyway i'll juz sum up all those important events dat has happened in those times dat I didn't update here... Hehe...

Well... Performed in college on 16th of July... They call it The Hive whereby it's a place for students to perform any kind of art from reciting poems, dance, act a play or a drama, or even music or sing.... Performed with my fren named Celine... Hehe.. Performed 3 songs... First was Realise by Colbie Cailat, then a japanese song titled Goobye Days by Yui and lastly got "abandoned" on d stage by her n I performed You and Me by Lifehouse solo... Huhu~

Hmm... Then a week before dat went back to melaka... My fren came back from langkawi for a week.. We drink, jamming, bbq... All d stuffs dat all of us do together last time... Haha.. Moss those old times... Now most of us are spearated n doing their own stuffs and studying.... hmm... Wish all those times could come back one day...

The hubbies of Carina Lee Ju Lee aka HEARTLESS CARE BEAR!!! (Dun gv me dat care bear look ar....)

Hmm... It's been quite a long time since I start blogging in here... Wif all d homeworks and assignments.... Been taking up quite a lot of my time... Hehe...

In these days, I've found out something shocking though... I heard from my fren dat Carina (d name of the title... Dat's her... U nid pics? Come find me... Hehe) hv 11 no maybe more.... Hehe...

Wanna noe who?? Wait I'll list them out for u guys to see... >.<

1. Benji aka Bear2 (I dunno why he's first though... Sry Benji but everything she sees all she sees is dis name... B-E-N-J-I)

2. Snoopy ( I dunno who is dat... Mayb dat snoopy dog in those comic strips..)

3. Andrew (got gf adi... I oso dunno why as to he's one of the hubby)

4. Celine (Got bf adi oso... Dunno why mayb wanna spoil them up?)

5. Harry ( should be second though... Dunno why down-graded till 5th)

6. Wan Keng (dunno who the heck is he/she)

7. Nick (tau fu fah.. Which is made from soy bean... Dunno why.. Mayb she wanna eat him or mayb she's tau zhiong shui)

8.Bryan ( Dis guy we call him bra... i dunno why he's oso one of the hubby. Mayb because she can wears him? Haha)

9. Justin (D one I call him beruk.... Really he looks like one.. Mayb animals do attract each other.... Keke)

10. Yau Phang (our kung fu kid... Mayb she needs protection... hmm... )

11. Conrad (Nothing to say bout him... Abit soft though)

12. Panda (beat her once in badminton and YES a SHE not a HE...)

13. Ivy ( secretly???)

14. Adrian ( Who knows bout this???? Mayb her...)

15. Peng2 (juz admitted on sat)

14 wei... Means if a day teman one = 2 weeks oni can see once.... My goodness... She can take it ar? Or rather those 14 unfortunate fellas can take it... Sigh... The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit... Amen.... Godspeed to them... Kakakakakakakaka...